Madame Web is a campy superhero movie about a woman struggling to make sense of her new clairvoyant powers and the visions of tragic futures that plague her. S.J. Clarkson makes her feature directorial debut with this Spider-Man spinoff, produced by Sony in association with Marvel. Dakota Johnson stars as Cassie Webb, the titular character, alongside Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor as the three young Spider-Women. 

This movie suffered from a brutal press cycle that both heightened the excitement and brought upon additional scrutiny. One particular line from the trailer, “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died” became an overnight meme on social media. This clunky and exposition-heavy piece of dialogue was suddenly the rallying cry for ironic supporters of the film. Notably a week after the trailer debuted, it was announced that Johnson had changed her representation from WME to CAA, which caused many to speculate it was due to her disappointment with the film. This was furthered by the fact that Johnson tagged Marvel Studios in her announcement post on Instagram leading many online to conclude that Johnson had been misled into thinking Madame Web was a part of the larger Marvel Cinematic Universe. This is entirely conjecture and we will likely never know if the timing of her departure from WME was a coincidence or not. However, as the press tour kicked off, Johnson, in her deadpan fashion, rattled off a series of quotes disparaging both the filming process and the final product, of which she claims she still has not seen. All of which built up to Madame Web’s release being one of the most anticipated of 2024, but for all the wrong reasons.

Set in 2003 New York City, the film follows Cassie, a paramedic, who survives a near death experience on the job. When she awakens she’s afflicted with mild deja vu, seeing events mere minutes into the future that eventually progresses to full blown visions. After witnesses and failing to protect a coworker from a fatal accident, Cassie learns that she can use her powers to prevent these potential futures from becoming realized. Ezekiel Sims, the man who killed Cassie’s mom in the Amazon twenty-five years prior, is now a spider person, having used her discovery of the rare species to give himself spider powers. He suffers from nightmares where he envisions three Spider-Women coming to his home and killing him in the night. Desperate to avoid this future, Ezekiel hacks into the newly formed NSA database to track down the women’s locations. He learns that all three, Julia, Anya, and Mattie, are just teenage girls who have not yet come into their powers making them easy targets to eliminate. A chance encounter brings the three girls and Cassie to the same train, where she has a vision that a mysterious man in a suit is going to kill them all. Cassie protects the girls from certain death and the group must hatch a plan to defeat this “evil spiderman” despite being ordinary, powerless teenagers. 

There’s a compelling and suspenseful thriller somewhere deep in this cheesy and cobbled together script. Cassie is still trying to understand the full extent of her powers, but notably she does not possess superhuman strength or invulnerability. This makes her a unique hero in the genre as she is at a far greater risk of dying in these fights than your typical Marvel hero. While some have criticized this movie for not being a “real superhero movie”, as someone who usually can’t stand superhero movies, this makes Cassie a far more interesting character than the average spandex wearing do-gooder. This is also helped by Johnson’s awkward delivery and the character’s reluctance to protect the girls, making her more human than hero thus giving greater significance to her inevitable transformation. Cassie’s visions of the future allow for some tense sequences where the audience gets glimpses of the horrific outcome she is attempting to prevent. Knowing what could happen if so much as a wrong step is taken makes for some really exciting scenes. There’s a certain Final Destination element to it, aided by its early 2000s setting, where death and tragedy are looming over her and split second decisions must be made for survival.

One of the highlights of the movie takes place in a roadside diner. Cassie leaves the girls to their own devices momentarily, and because they are teenagers, they disobey her warnings to avoid calling attention to themselves. Cut to the girls dancing on tables for the attention of a group of boys, only to be interrupted by Ezekiel slaughtering them one by one, all of which is set to Britney Spears’ “Toxic”. Watching Ezekiel poison Mattie with his spider venom as the lyrics, “You’re toxic, I’m slippin’ under. With the taste of a poison paradise.” plays is simply the stuff cinema is made for. When Cassie gets the chance to “redo” this encounter she makes full use of her ambulance driving ability to crash a taxi into Ezekiel right as he enters the diner, freeing the girls. Genre fans will likely be disappointed by the lack of spectacle driven, highly choreographed fight scenes, but there’s something about a hero needing to use their intelligence and non-super skills to take down a villian that makes Madame Web stand out in this crowded field. 

Despite all of the elements present that could make Madame Web succeed, it is severely held back by one of the weakest screenplays in recent memory. From start to finish, this film is filled with cliches, half-baked ideas, competing plot elements, and lines that hit your eardrum like a ton of bricks. Although it does try to distinguish itself from other superhero movies, it falls into a lot of the same traps. An orphan origin story that leads to our hero uncovering some great mystery or prophecy. A vague spider power that can do seemingly anything the writers need it to do, including curing terminal illnesses. A villain with no discernable motive outside of being generically evil and only interested in self-preservation.

And most egregiously in Madame Web, shoehorning in a plot line about her coworker Ben and his very pregnant Sister-in-Law, Mary Parker. Although the film goes through great lengths to avoid saying “Peter Parker” at all, it practically beats the audience over the head with it to be sure even the most casual of Spider-Man fans get the reference. It is just an entirely unnecessary addition that feels like a vestigial remnant of a previous iteration of the script. There’s only one moment in the film where it pays off in any way as Ben, while entrusted to watch the young spider women, rushes Mary to the hospital with Ezekiel hot on their trail. But for the most part it comes across as just a cynical reference in order to create some sort of connection with the successful Tom Holland lead Spider-Man series. It also adds some confusion to the extent of Cassie’s powers. Early in the film she flippantly asks Ben, “What you’ve never been shot at in Queens before?”, a reference to the character’s eventual death. While she does not possess clairvoyance at this point in the film, it does call into question her ability to prevent future events later on. Like did Cassie let him die or does she just not have that much control over her power? Ben and Mary’s inclusion in the script simply adds more problems and complications than necessary all in service of what’s essentially an easter egg. 

Madame Web is a sloppily made film on both a technical and artistic level. The sound mix here is grating and off with the score, soundtrack, and dialogue constantly competing for the audience’s attention. The ADR used, especially for Ezekiel’s dialogue, is poorly implemented leading to one unconvincing line delivery after another, occasionally not even matching the character’s mouth in the moment. The CGI effects and the green screen settings used for the large set pieces feel empty and without a real sense of space, completely breaking the illusion. It’s dumbfounding that a big studio movie with an $80 million budget feels this amateurish and looks as bad as it does. 

However, this may be the most fun I’ve ever had while watching a superhero movie. Whether it was always intentional or not, Madame Web made me laugh out loud throughout the runtime. Johnson feels so out of place in a leading superhero role with her expressionless and sarcastic delivery that it verges into camp territory. The outrage over this movie reminds me of last year’s The Marvels which was both maligned by Marvel diehards and celebrated as an important piece of feminist film by others. There’s a knee jerk reaction from both camps to defend their position, especially in the broader context of representation in popular media. While there seems to be fewer people defending Madame Web, the criticism is just as pervasive and even more vitriolic. I have a tough time taking these critiques seriously because, yes Madame Web is not a very good film, but neither is anything Marvel has released in the last fifteen years or so. Every superhero film across the three major production companies has ranged from bad to mediocre, with Madame Web fitting comfortably within that spectrum. As an outsider to the genre’s core fanbase, it’s fascinating to see how fans determine the quality of a superhero movie. Madame Web is a messy, cliche romp of a superhero film with little reason to demand your attention unless you’re lucky enough to experience it with a generous audience who’s ready to laugh at the outrageous onscreen antics.